A Lesson in Unconditional Love
I am bloated and tired but relaxed for once this past week. I've been stretched beyond my limits emotionally as well as my tolerance for stress and worry. I've been paralyzed with indecisiveness and fear, but at the same time, I have not felt so compelled to action for someone else in a long time. For once, I wasn't solely thinking about myself or a typically superficial thing. My love has always been unconditional but it has never been tested to this magnitude. In a peculiar way, I'm grateful I do not have to doubt myself in this capacity. I had easily scoffed at the notion of being weak and vulnerable, but I know now what can completely unglue me and that I can't always be strong.
I open the door and there he is...sitting in the living room. So simple but it makes me want to cry for hours. I am so thankful and relieved.
Who knew that such a small, seemingly insignificant event like this would make me pause and count my blessings? Life is a beautiful thing really.
I've been finding my way out of a bad nightmare with uncertainty. The burden weighed so heavily on me. I even struggled with my plan to move to Spain. I know I will do it but it will be more difficult than I ever anticipated. The worst, at least for now, is over. My hope for the future lies in the hands of God and that things will work out the way they are suppose to. Having this faith, I can sleep peacefully...at last.
I open the door and there he is...sitting in the living room. So simple but it makes me want to cry for hours. I am so thankful and relieved.
Who knew that such a small, seemingly insignificant event like this would make me pause and count my blessings? Life is a beautiful thing really.
I've been finding my way out of a bad nightmare with uncertainty. The burden weighed so heavily on me. I even struggled with my plan to move to Spain. I know I will do it but it will be more difficult than I ever anticipated. The worst, at least for now, is over. My hope for the future lies in the hands of God and that things will work out the way they are suppose to. Having this faith, I can sleep peacefully...at last.
posted by Chica Chan @ 1:22 PM
1 Comments:
At 6/10/2005 8:41 AM,
sugarfoxnga said…
My dearest Carol,
No one could can truly empathize with your position. Yes, we all have bloating, stess, and family problems; but few of us have your capacity to 'care'...well, at least I can say this about myself. Just remember, when you're feeling a little overwhelmed with life's little tests, just turn to us...your friends.. who are ready with a Grey Goose/tonic and a boney shoulder to cry on!!
By the way, I've attached one of my favorite sonnets by Shakespeare..yes, it's a love sonnet.. but the meaning can be applied to the love of my family, my friends or my plethora of lovers. Enjoy!
Sonnet 29
When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least:
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,--and then my state
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings'.
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